Hey there, I’m so happy to finally be writing here again. I’m so glad you didn’t only find this post but you’re also reading it. Let’s catch up.

2021 I didn’t write on my blog as much as I wanted to. For most of it, I spent it struggling with myself – financially mostly. And I wish I understood that earlier, dealing with the mood swings and depression that came with it would have been a bit easier. I legit thought I was fine.

This piece anyway, is a catch up blog post, because I still love storytelling, because I have unedited poems I still want to share with all of you, because writing has become an integral part of me, because there is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you and this blog gives me a chance to tell some of those stories, because being a writer is still my dream, because I am grateful for this blog; 2020 it saved me from losing my mind and it means so much to me that this – even if everything else dies, this doesn’t.

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.

Maya Angelou

In my mind rn I’m tearing up, it’s 8:01 the New Year’s Eve of 2022. And I’m overwhelmed with varying emotions that I want to understand.

2021 wasn’t the best year for me; financially I went under. And it’s new for me fr! I mean yes I joke about being broke but I was so broke – poor in 2021 I didn’t even have the effrontery to make a joke off it. Never in my life have I ever not had an urgent 2k to fall on in my account. 2021, outdid itself with that though. I was having N4 in my account for a month straight. Having to consistently drink Garri (god bless that lifesaving meal) because it’s either that or I’ll die from hunger.

The financial downhill I took was too traumatic. Went from having solar to not only losing it but also being cut out of the power supply. I don’t know how or why; I just know Nigeria continues to frustrate poor people. And add to that I was dealing with an unbearable caretaker, flatmates that always have something to complain about, coursemates that consistently pissed me the fuck off, and a very unhealthy school environment.

2021 None of my goals were achieved, NONE! I couldn’t get my brother the phone I promised him and I think that was the first trigger. From there, I struggled financially with everything. And now I’m aware that poverty is a trigger for me; a big one. But thankfully with this awareness comes the knowledge of how to cope with it.

Yes, I wrote, yes I partied, yes I did have fun occasionally. It’s me; I’m a fucking vibe; and bless God for the https://thatblackalien.home.blog/2021/04/25/epiphany-for-year-21/ it helped me in my darkest of days.

I can’t write in detail how 2021 went; most of it involves more than just me and I’m not one to tell the story of someone else. But for the highlight, shortly after I got fired from work, my parents got duped a crazy amount of money. And I tried, I tried to pick myself up financially but it’s either the barest minimum salary or a disorganized employer; it was fucking with my head. I lost it; didn’t help that school had countless fees I needed to pay, and I needed to be in school. I was losing my mind!

Anyways 2022 is here; I’m hopeful and that’s even scarier because being hopeful is not one of my strong suits, but what choice do I have? I have written down my goals again. 1st of January 2022, I’ve lit a candle to attest/manifest to this. 2022 must be better. The universe must align for me.

Nothing in my life has changed just by crossing over to the new year of course. I’m still poor, still cut out of the power supply, but I’m hopeful.

If you’ve been an avid follower of this blog; and you’re reading this. You’re what I’m most grateful for in 2021. Because of the love you’ve shown this blog, I didn’t have to rush my recovering from the creative block. Thank you for sticking with me.

To those that texted and reminded me how much of a “good” writer I am; god bless you. May this year be kind to you; as you have been to me.

To people IRL that held space for me, showed up and out for me unconditionally; your love gave me strength. To my friends, 2022 will be better for us.

Happy new year. Here’s to everything good that’ll come🥂 and cheers to a new era with a lot of blog posts and poems to come.