Today, I woke up with a big vibe and for a first time in a while I am grateful for something. And I just realize that what I’m most grateful for is clarity. The ability to understand things outside their surface level? I’m grateful for it.

In my life, I am mostly not grateful for anything. I hate life. Today though, I think happiness paid me a visit? Lmao. I’m happy! I’m dancing naked to my playlist playing loudly in the house i now live in since I left home because I wanted to be free. And even though this freedom has come with a lot of hassles; and I mean a lot to the point where I wasn’t even sure I wanted it. Today I’m grateful for it.

I’m grateful for empathy; I usually see it as a curse because now I feel people but they hardly feel me and I’m stuck but today I’m grateful for that. The ability to empathize with people in their different struggles.

I’m grateful for this happiness. I’m grateful for all the many gifts the universe has blessed me with. And love – I bless the universe for the ability to love how I love.

I’m grateful for the ability to express my feelings in arts. It’s the most I’m grateful for. I don’t think I’m grateful for life though, I’ll still take death anytime Lmao. But I’m happy. I’m actually really happy omg this feels good.

On that note; I’m going to just drop this picture of what my Bestfriend said to me because these are truthssssss

I’m listening to this playlist my friend created, it slapssssss; “work for you” by Medasin ft Kaz moon is the first on the playlist and it’s my favorite.

I’m twriling and singing at the top of my voice. I am genuinely happy, I’m content. It feels good. It feels good to be happy. I wish I could hold on to it forever but it probably won’t happen so I’m just going to enjoy this. Sent my Bestfriend a vn. I’m trying all the dances I have in my head but never do because I don’t think I can’t actually do them – I can’t, lmao – but I’m glad I tried it. It’s fun and feels good.

I’m thinking about things that used to hurt me/ throw me off balance – and they don’t anymore – I feel – freeeeeee. My chest is so light. Feeling good feels so damn good, damnnnnnnn. I don’t know man, I hope you’re (whoever is reading this) happy wherever you are and if you aren’t for whatever reason I’m sending a package of love, strength in a box of happiness for you. I love you and I hope the universe allows happiness pay you a visit. – 12|09|2020, 11:24

Edit: my heart is back to being heavy. My Bestfriend just came online and she’s not so happy and well I’ve – how do I say it – taken that feeling too? Yup. I’m not so sad actually, just heavy check and still grateful that today was happy for me.

Now I’m not all jumpy happy, just sitting trying to go through all the things I need to do today and content, cheering to more moments of happiness- 12|09|2020 2:48pm

And now, even more now I am grateful for clarity.

Anyways here’s the link to the playlist I was listening to today

Playlist by me; https://music.apple.com/ng/playlist/vibes-by-a-gen-z/pl.u-RRbV0o1tmqLJr2W

Playlist by my friend; https://music.apple.com/ng/playlist/nebula-fm/pl.u-xlyNNk2skmE3Gj7

Now listening to “In my room” by frank ocean, legs on my window looking outside, and I’m grateful. My windows are usually always shut, but I think I like this view too.

Can’t you see?

Life can be beautiful

But like art it carries the capacity of being

as gruesome as it is beautiful.

-TBA