Hi,

I think I’m in love.

No this is not a poem

So apologies for all the poetic rules I’ll break to write this.

It’s fine!

Don’t try to remind me how this is a poem

I’ll never get it.

This –

This is what I know how to do best

Apologize.

Apologizing for my works

For living loudly

For my emotions

For the decisions I make

For the love I find.

And I apologize again that this is turning into a sad tale

Instead of my love story.

It’s just

I don’t know if I’ll ever be happy.

I miss my mom

I miss my Soulmate

I miss my sister

I miss my brother

I miss my best friend

I miss my dad

I miss my partner

I miss friends I no longer talk with

I –

I miss me

I don’t know wtf this girl is

And I’m scared

And for this fear also I apologize.

I’ve taken risks

For my life.

But now –

Now they seem worthless

Like why do I even bother

I’ll never be happy.

At least not in the way I would want.

And again

Apologies if you think I should be more grateful for the life I have.

But yes I’m in love

And I want to describe them to you

Describe the way they make me feel to you

How they are in my every thoughts.

How they’re smile makes me flush

How just the sound of they’re name

Make me grin involuntary.

I love them.

And I know this because

For the first time in my life

I am willing to share everything about me with someone that isn’t me

Every single thing

Even the ones I’m ashamed of.

The ones I only share with my notes.

But I’m scared

Around them I can forget how broken I am

But the truth never goes away

I’m broken

And this, this love

Fucking came at the wrong phase of my life.

I’m scared

I’ve always been

And I apologize.

I’m in love

This is not a love story

This is not a poem.

So apologies again if this wasn’t what you expected