I’m not like the other kids you know,

I don’t come out with an ‘A’

I barely even made a ‘C’

And I wish I could say that in place of my unintelligence I have some sort of talent

You know like in the books and movies,

But I don’t.

And I’ve those all big dreams you know,

Like travel the world,

Help people,

Stuff,

That basically only book and/or talent

Can make happen.

And I’m trying

I swear I’m trying to achieve all those

But everyday

It feels like I’m taking one step forward and two steps backward

I’m stuck

And I hate it

My body is tired already.

My future is glaring at me,

And none of my dreams are in it.

It’s killing me.

Like seeing how I’ve failed,

Exactly how mommy and daddy said it.

Mommy once said I might end up like her sisters;

Single mom

With no money

Barely even able to take care of her children.

Daddy said I’m lazy,

And my younger sister might be more successful than I am.

I wish they could see that I’m trying

I swear I’m trying.

Maybe they were right

But whatever happens tell mama and papa I tried.

I did.

I tried.

-From my archive 30th oct 2018, because it’s one of those days